Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mama Tried

She did your laundry, cheered you on at every ball game, and never once called attention to the crusty washcloth underneath your bed. She cooked your favorite meals, sent fresh baked cookies to your frat house, and when you brought home that creepy chick with the lopsided boobs, your mom let you figure out for yourself that Miss Wacky Rack was a psycho. Yes, gents. This Sunday is Mother’s Day, and if you’re any kind of son you will make damn sure—at the very least—that mom gets her fill of unlimited bread sticks and bottomless salad at The Olive Garden.

You only get one mom. Be sure to show her some love this weekend and surprise her by announcing you finally plan on moving out of the basement … soon.

[What do you think about ... Mother's Day?]

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Say what?

Say What?

A sampling of some popular shorthand texting terms.

UG2BK . . . . . . . You got to be kidding
GBTW. . . . . . . . Get back to work
NMP . . . . . . . . . Not my problem
PIR . . . . . . . . . . Parent in room
GFTD. . . . . . . . . Gone for the day
FYEO. . . . . . . . . For your eyes only
BI5 . . . . . . . . . . Back in five minutes
DEGT . . . . . . . . Don’t even go there
BIL . . . . . Boss is listening
PAW. . . . Parents are watching
99 . . . . . . Parents are no longer watching
PCM . . . . Please call me
IMS. . . . . I am sorry
TOY. . . . . Thinking of you
KUTGW. . Keep up the good work
CID . . . . . Consider it done
FWIW. . . For what it’s worth
HAND . . . Have a nice day
IAT . . . . . I am tired
NRN . . . . No response necessary
4COL. . . . For crying out loud
WRUD. . . What are you doing
LMIRL. . . Let’s meet in real life
^5 . . . . . . High five

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sunday, September 28, 2008